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November 9th.... has it been already 11 years since my grandfathers death? Seems to be only yesterday he was here.... I almost forgot what today was. I really did, everyone in my family almost forgot.... I wonder, if grandma even remembers his death, her own husbands *sighs*



It would kill her to forget him, I know it would, and yet..... we all almost did. I can't believe its been so long though, its like almost yesterday I was 4 and he was still here and now..... he's gone and I'm already 15 *shakes head* he would be disappointed that we forgot, at the same time, he would be proud of me.



Its funny, even though I cry while I'm typing this, I feel happy...... almost free for once, like I don't have to hold all this in anymore..... its like that every year and yet I'm mostly happy.... could it be that he's watching me? Or maybe that I can feel his spirit as if it is beside me now, or could it be that for once in my life he makes me actually smile.



Maybe soon grandpa, we'll come and see you... its been 4-5 years since we visited the park by the lake..... has it changed much since we've been there? Or will it be the same as the time mom drumped his ashes, or since we through carnations into the water....... maybe during Thanksgiving, we'll be as you wished long ago, be one family just like you wanted before you past away



Its time to end this sad day with something, I don't know what, but the day is ending..... maybe for now a peaceful good-bye thought to you grandpa, for its another year gone out of our lives.... hopefully you won't be alone soon

*closes the doors to this final thought with one more tear*

Homecoming Football Game:



Well we had alot of fun, we scored 21-12 and I wasn't really watching the football players, I was hanging with friends. Plus, me and a group of girls kept putting JJ in a corner or on the ground and would pick on him. But after that, he let me and one friend use him as a resting post and it didn't bother him.



Homecoming Dance:



It was awesome, I saw most of my friends and teachers there (montors for the dance). Me and Donna finished Wesley's pop, so he made us dance with him together for finishing it. Was fun and then we were dancing all night, then I kidnapped Wes for like half a song, then we got Donna and another girl joined 3/4 through the last song.



But of course whenever I'm super happy something goes wrong. My friend wasn't dancing with us till like half to 3/4 of the party. And before that I came out and gave her the phone, then we both walked to the bathroom cause I was going to go get Donna and my friend tells me "Leave Me Alone"



Then at the very head she was telling me everything that made her happy was seeing Matt. And we got into a fight (word one) and I told her "Well since he makes you happy maybe you should take him up on his offer and sleep with him"



So, now after getting a ride home, I'm here in a familiar place and tomorrow gotta get my backpack and other stuff from her house.



Yeah fun huh.